Still Learning

Ok, I know some things. Not to sound like a pretentious bugger, but I have done a lot of things with my life. I was in the military, I have been hired and fired, I have been married and divorced, I have worked for big recognizable firms and small family owned businesses, I have moved around the country and I used to go to school in Mexico. So, with all these things that I have done in the past 24 and 1/2 years, and all the learning that I have had to do, there are some things that still just astounded me.

1. Living on the third floor really sucks.
Now, I know that heat rises (see, I know things) but the heat on the third floor is the worst. I don't know who around me has their heater on in the middle of a heat wave, but it must be someone. I have two air conditions set on 65 degrees and I am still sweating like a hole-y bucket. There has got to be heat streaming up from either one of my neighbors or the person underneath me. Either way, they should be shot. It is air conditioner weather, not heater weather. I wonder if those people will be using their air conditioner in the winter (see, I can rhyme too).
My second gripe about my apartment is my shower. I guess I didn't think about it before but temperature control in the shower on the third floor is just terrible. I guess it's because the water has to come up all the way from the basement, but it takes approximately 53.4 seconds for the heat to make it out of my showerhead. Come on people, that's like 1 whole minute. Then, once the water gets there, you just can't change the temperature at all. If I accidentally turn the heat up to high when I first turn on the shower, I have to stand, washing myself as quickly as possible through the most excruciating heat ever. I can turn the handle all the way to freezing ass cold, but instead of shivering as if I am somewhere in the arctic, I can feel my skin burning off as if I am in the pits of hell.
Walking up three flights of stairs takes a lot of work for a lazy ass like me. It takes me like a half an hour to motivate myself enough to walk my dog. I guess it's good for him though, because once I get out there I have to take another 30 minutes to talk myself back up, so he gets to hang out with the people on the street while my selves fight with each other.

2. I am a big fat scare-dy cat.
There is a big tree outside my window. It is a pitiful big thing with branches barely thick enough to support my cat, who weighs nothing, but it scares the hell out of me. I have dreams sometimes that some shady character is climbing up the spindly tree, in effort to get to my window. I see him in shrouded by darkness, first prying off my locked on screens (because he is not smart enough to just cut them) and opening my ancient, swollen wood, locked windows. He scrambles inside, breaking all my fun pretty stuff on the window sills, is licked by my dog and he stoops to pet the kitties. Then he proceeds to take all of my Target very-valuables and shimmies back down the tree. HELLO, BREEAH, FACE REALITY, YOU ARE PARANOID!!!

3. Having cable and internet kinda sucks.
Ok, it totally doesn't suck, but I cannot handle it. Take for example, right now, I should be studying for a very hardcore mid-term that I have today on the History of Ireland (800-1890), but no, I am sitting here, babbling on about how convoluted my brain really is. My focus has been sucked out by the cable waves. It is true what they say; TVs are Weapons of Mass destruction.