Purple Gnomes?

So, I am masturbating in my boyfriend's bed while he is in the shower. I know this seems like a lot of information, but I promise, it's worth knowing in the end.

Anyhow, I hear my boyfriend ending his shower, but he stays a little longer in the bathroom to let me finish my business. As I am finishing up I see him walk by the doorway, completely naked. He waves, and I notice he is holding a gnome over his private parts. I laugh and ask him "Were you holding a gnome on your penis?" he says yes and chuckles of course that makes me laugh. I lay there a little while longer basking in the afterglow, waiting for him to come in to get dressed.

When he walks back into the bedroom, I am still lying in his bed, grinning from ear to ear. I ask him "So, where did you get that gnome from anyway?" He looks at me like I have just sprouted donkey ears and an elephant trunk. "What the hell are you talking about," he asks me. This is when I start to doubt myself. I told him that he had said yes when I asked him about the gnome before and his reply was, "Dude, I thought you were just playing around, I thought it was odd, but that's just the way you are sometimes."

Ok, I have to say, I started to lose it at that moment. I explained to him that I had seen him walk by, naked, with a gnome covering his junk. He asks me "Did the gnome wave at you? How was he holding on? Were you fantasizing about gnomes while I was in the shower? Good lord, I knew you were freaky but I had no idea that it went that far." By this time I am in tears laughing at my insanity but I tell him, "no man, you were holding it, it was a gnome wearing a purple jacket and yellow hat."

"Breeah, have you gone insane?" he says. I realize then that I have just completely faded away, I have completely lost my marbles, I have finally sunk away into a delayed, yet permenant acid trip. I have been known to have random hallucinations, but never in my entire life have I hallucinated something so real. I get out of the bed, determined to return to normalcy, but I just can't do it. I cannot accept that I have just hallucinated something so huge.

I stand in the hallway, compltely naked, hair standing on end, with a dumbfounded look on my face. I look into the bathroom, no gnome there. I think to myself "if I don't actually find a gnome, will I ever fully understand the extreme to which I have lost my mind?" I look into the living room, still looking like a naked Madusa, lost on a deserted island, no brain in site. No gnome there. I open the hallway door, and what do I see staring back at me???

A porcelain gnome in a yellow jacket and purple hat.