So sorry to tell you all... But.... I have moved to a new location... trying to consolidate you know! See you there:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&friendID=14650381

My Roller Derby Story

Hey all, sorry it has been so long, school has really taken me out of it, and with the addition of Roller Derby my time has been sufficiently accounted for. But here I am, with a little more insight into your favorite blogger. My Roller Derby/Webster University comrades have been interviewed for out school paper and I would like to pass on what I wrote when asked my derby story.


Hey David
Sorry this is so late, but I hope I made it on time. Here is my derby story:

I am currently a student at Webster University, due to graduate in December with a double Bachelor's degree in Psychology and Human Resources Management. I have been a full-time evening student at Webster since August 2003 and am happy to finally be completing my 6 year stint as a student. I am also involved in service with Americorps St. Louis as an inner city middle school mentor that averages about 47 hours a week.

You might be asking yourself where on earth I find the time to add in extracurricular activities and I am obliged to answer that I ask myself that all the time. However, I must admit that it has definitely been worth it!! I never struggle with the decision to either sleep or derby, DERBY ALWAYS WINS!!

As for my interest in roller derby, I could probably start way back when, back to the days that I was still knee high to a grasshoppa' and dying to be everything possible. I wanted to be the rough and tumble tomboy but I sure did love getting all dressed up in my favorite white dress that twirled. The extremes in my personality dynamics put me in a difficult spot. It left me feeling as if I didn't quite fit in with the average, middle American jock crowd. I tried every sport known to man (save for football, due to familial views on gender roles) but none of them ever quite panned out.

I think the defining moment in my sports career was centered around a co-ed youth soccer team I was on. Up until that point, and even to this day, I could not find motivation in chasing a ball around a field (or court, or whatever). The desire to steal a ball from someone else made even less sense and I played accordingly.The coach took heed and placed me in the back to protect the goalie from the opposing team, landing me with the title of "Most Aggressive Player"- FOR THE WHOLE LEAGUE.

After being told no coach would ever want me, for fear of lawsuits against the league, I stayed away from sports of all kinds. But then I got into high school, and it was there that I found a sport that meshed my desire to be an aggressive and loud, feminine teammate. I became a competitive cheerleader as a head base and thrower, helping to lead our team to nationals. It had everything I wanted: competition that did not include chasing a ball, strength training, female companionship and primping! But it also included a lot of the high school drama that comes with the territory and left me feeling as if it could have somehow been better.

But alas, high school ends and life begins. I took a four year hiatus from school after joining the military and was much too wrapped up in the life to look for a team to be on. After settling in Missouri I didn't think much about joining a team either, thinking that I was much too busy, but I have realized that there is always room for fun and exercises.

In December, my friend Strawberry Shortkick, a law student at Wash. U. told me that she had met some women who were organizing a roller derby league here in St. Louis and that she was going to join them. I was instantly envious but told her I couldn't wait to be a "jeerleader" at the bouts. And then it happened... I got off work early one day and decided to go skating with her. At the rink I met a group of like minded women who were awesome and drama free. It had been 13 years since I had been on skates and fell hard enough to break my tailbone. And wouldn't you know it, it hasn't stopped me yet, and I have been skating ever since.

Being on the Arch Rival Rollergirls has been a tremendous experience. I always wondered if there were women out there who could be competitive and primpy without being filled with drama, and I have found them here. I am always impressed when I hear the women talking about what they do, what they stand for, where they have been or where they want to be. I am so proud to be in a league of women who ARE and who DO not just pretend and talk about. I still don't get to practice as much as I would like, nor do I get to hang out for Monday Roller Derby TV Night, but at practice I am still a part of the group and I LOVE that.

Oh yeah, and COACH KEN ROCKS!!!!

Hope this is what you were looking for David
-"Spunk Monkey~Double Oh Seven"

What do you get?

What do you get when you mix 2 black ladies, 3 white ladies and 2 jews?

Dreidel Games, DUH...

More to come on this soon...

Lost in the Ghetto with a Black Heart

Lost in the Ghetto with a Black Heart

I know, I know, it’s been way too long since I have posted something. I wish I could come up with a good and interesting excuse like “Oh, I was off in the Amazon saving the endangered Orangutans” but unfortunately I am not that cool. I have been away because of, snooooooze, work and school. But hey, you have to do both in order to become a better person right? And that is everyone’s goal RIGHT? Ok, maybe not, but for me it keeps my mind at peace (generally speaking of course).

There are a few things I want to talk about today, mostly because it has been so long, and so many things have happened that I would like to try and rehash for you today. Please, bear with me, I might forget a few things, but you will hear about them later I am sure.

First, I just got done reading They Poured Fire On Us From The Sky. This is an absolute must read if you like any kind of true, heart wrenching, stories of triumph over evil. A basic rundown of the book is:

During the longest civil war in African history the Islamic Arabs of Sudan and the Islamic Government initiated genocide on the Christian Black Africans. The terror (ooh, sorry to use the soo dumbed down word of our own resident idiot) started in 1987 as the Arabs raided the villages of the African farmers, shooting down the men, raping and killing the women and young girls or taking them to be slaves in their land.

The boys, ranging in age from 5-12 fled their villages into the high grasses and deserts, running for their lives as their village chieftains had instructed them to, in order to find safety.

Over the course of their journey they fought hunger, dehydration, yellow fever, stomach problems from the un-ground grain that they sometimes found for food tearing their intestines and stomach linings, infection, soldiers, crocodiles, and themselves, completely worn down by war. For month these young boys walked, searching for safety and being treated as caged animals unworthy of life. Their walk started in Bor, Sudan and took them first to Ethiopia. After having traveled over 1,000 miles the boys faced more discrimination and hunger. After war broke out in Ethiopia the boys were once again walking, into another unknown land, into Kakuma, Kenya.

The story is about three boys, brothers, who faced this adversity for 14 years before finally being flown into the United States so that they could live a better life, in hopes that one day they would be able to rectify the situation. Alepho tells the reader of a dream he has as he is flying into the States that better shows the gravity of their need to help, “In my dream, after the truck passed Torit and got stuck in the mud, all of the soldiers jumped out just like they had in real life. I’d been curious and stuck my head out and seen many damaged trucks and human bones lying all around. But in my dream, when I looked out, all of those skulls smiled to me and said, ‘Son, you will fight this war. We all paid for it. Everybody will pay for it. To pay for it you must start the process.’”

I really wish I could tell you more about this book, but I fear that my over-excitement will diminish the book for you. I tell you this; this book will rip your heart out. If you are like me, you will realize that as you sat, eating your cereal, watching Sally Struthers talk about all the starving boys in Ethiopia and wondering “hmmm… could that be real” as an eight year old with no concept of the real world, that these are the boys that you saw on TV. The boys who had extruding stomachs from hunger, flies in their eyes, and no hope in their mind. These are the boys who would have benefited from those 20 cents a day, maybe giving them one more cup of grain for a 16 day period, giving them a total of four cups of grain (that took nearly 10 hours to prepare and cook) for half the month.
If you want to read more about the lost boys you can go to Lost Boys (red cross). If you want to learn about how you can actively serve populations such as these check out Doctors Without Borders or if you want to contribute International Release Committee.

Next…

I have just recently received that coolest compliment I have ever gotten. I was recently told that I was “Black on the inside”. Sound weird, it gets even weirder.

So a little background, I work at an inner city school with Americorps St. Louis. Needless to say, I am the minority by 293:7. Well, it’s difficult sometimes to listen to the jargon used by my little middle school friends, and I have been offended by the word “Nigga” since day one. Well, of course I tell the kids “NO N WORD IN HERE PLEASE” and never thought anything about it. Well, I was discussing this issue with a friend of mine, a friend who is very well versed in working with urban youth after having worked with Outward Bound for five years. I told her about my dislike of the word, and instead of saying “Oh yes Breeah, you are racially diverse and culturally competent,” she gave me a dressing down. She told me that my telling my little friends that they could not use a word, which in their culture was a symbol of friendship, acceptance and brotherly love, was just another way that I (the white authority) was taking away their freedom as black people.

Shock me stupid, she did!

The very next day I called my 7 kids together. We sat together on the floor in a circle, the way we always do when someone has something important to discuss with the group, and started the very difficult (for me) talk about race issues that we all sometimes face. After having talked for a while about what they felt, I brought up the word “Nigga”. They all looked at me like I was crazy, stating that they had never heard a teacher (I’m not a teacher, but I am an adult so they call me a teacher) speak so bluntly about the issue, but I continued on. I asked them why they thought that I did not like the word that I heard so often and they all answered with the right answer, because it’s bad, mean and racist. I told them that, yes, that was the reason I didn’t like the word, but furthered the conversation by asking them if that’s what they thought. Of course they said no, to them it was a sign of friendship, acceptance and familial love. I listened and interjected but in the end told them that yes, the reason I did not like it was because at first glance it seems derogatory to me. But then, unlike most adults, I told them that I was wrong. I told them that I had my own prejudice to the word because it was something that I did not know about. But, to conclude the conversation I told them that I was still not comfortable with the word in general, for a different reason. I told them that we were a team, and when they said that word it took me out, it made me unequal as I could not say that word without it being seen as racists. I told them that if our team was to be effective, we all had to be on even ground as much as possible without putting anyone out and being respectful of all our differences. After getting over the initial shock of my wanting to be equal to them, one of my girls look at me and said “But, Ms. Breeah, you black on the inside.” With a big grin on my face, I look at this girl that I love for her openness and say “so does that mean I can call you a Nigga?” and she says “Hell NO, you must be outta yo’ mind”. From the mouths of babes eh?

Some things I have learned-

1. You are ghetto if:
     a. you make your kool-aid with salt
     b. you own a pit-bull
     c. you play your music “hella” loud in a residential area
     d. you use your car hood as a sled in the snow
     e. you have different colored hair other than your natural color
     f. you scream at people down the street that you don’t even know
          and…
     g. you make lists like “you’re ghetto if…”
2. I guess that makes me ghetto (

Will you stand up to fight?

I promise more personal posts are coming soon, but it's finals time... So until then, have another word from Dan Savage.

STRAIGHT RIGHTS UPDATE:
After secret meetings with the right-wing American Family Association (AFA), Ford Motor Company agreed to pull its advertising from gay publications and cease sponsoring gay events in order to avoid a threatened boycott. What does this have to do with straight rights? The AFA fucks intimidating Ford on the gay issue are the same fucks intimidating retailers like Target into denying women access to morning-after pills. They're the same assholes trying to stop the feds from approving a vaccine for two strains of HPV. (The HPV vaccine—already tested and 100 percent effective—could save thousands of women's lives every year.) When the AFA successfully attacks gay rights, it only emboldens their attacks on straight rights. So gay or straight, the AFA is your enemy.

What can you do? Call Ford dealers in your area and let them know you won't be buying a Ford after this. (A list of Ford dealers broken down by state can be found on Americablog: americablog.blogspot.com/2005/12/contact-your-local-ford-dealership.html. And while you've got 'em on the phone, ask them what Ford was so afraid of. The AFA's boycott of Disney was called off after nine years because it wasn't working. When the AFA threatened Kraft, the execs at Kraft told the haters from the AFA to go fuck themselves. But what did Ford do when the AFA threatened them? The "Built Ford Tough" boys collapsed into a puddle. "Ford Puff" needs to hear from people who won't buy cars from companies that cave in to right-wing hatemongers. And when your local Ford dealer tells you that he didn't make this decision, tell him they had better yell at Ford HQ and get this decision reversed. Microsoft caved to right-wing Christian bullies, and then reversed itself. Ford can too.

Why I love Dan Savage

Beyond the LGBT, searching even further than the nasty (good), kinky, and absurd sex lives of all kinds of people, Dan Savage of Savage love tells you what to do. And yes, I like to be told what to do... Who knew? But seriously, listen to him, and do what he says.

Oh yeah, you can check him out at www.onion.com in the AV Club.

STRAIGHT RIGHTS UPDATE:
There were two disturbing developments in the battle over straight rights last week. First, we know that Target fills its ads with dancing, multi-culti hipsters giving off a tolerant, urbanist vibe, and runs hipster-heavy ad campaigns positioning Target as a slightly more expensive, more progressive alternative to Wal-Mart. Well, as John Aravosis revealed on americablog.org last week, Target's politics are as red as their bulls-eye logo. The chain allows its pharmacists to refuse to dispense birth control and emergency contraception to female customers if the pharmacist objects on religious grounds. What's worse, the company claims that any of its employees have a right to discriminate against any of its customers provided the discrimination is motivated by an employee's religious beliefs. Read all about it at americablog.org and plannedparenthood.org.

Second, more troubling news from Tucson, Arizona, where a 20-year-old rape victim called dozens of pharmacies in town before she found one that stocked emergency contraception (EC). "When she finally did find a pharmacy with it, she said she was told the pharmacist on duty would not dispense it because of religious and moral objections," reported the Arizona Daily Star. Emergency contraception, the story continued, "prevents pregnancy by stopping ovulation, fertilization, or implantation of a fertilized egg. The sooner the emergency contraception is taken after intercourse, the more effective it is."

Don't just sit there, heteros. Defend your rights! Don't shop at Target, and write 'em and tell them why you're going elsewhere. (Go to target.com and click on "contact us," then "Target Corporation.") As for Fry's Pharmacy in Tucson, the shop that wouldn't dispense EC to a freakin' rape victim, the fundamentalist pharmacist claims it's her "right" to not do her fucking job. Well, you have a right to free speech. Call Fry's at 520-323-2695 and ask them why the fuck a pharmacy that won't dispense EC keeps the drug in stock. Do they do it just to torment rape victims? ("Oh yeah, we've got EC—but you can't have any. Don't you know that Jesus wants you to bear your rapist's child?") Rise up, straight people, and demand your rights!

Where Does The Good Go

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow
What do you do with the left over you
And how do you know, when to let go

Where does the good go, where does the good go

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen

It's love that breaks the seal of always thinking you would be
Real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go

Where does the good go

Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down

Where does the good go, where does the good go

(T&S, 2004)

The Media Rocks (NOT)!!!!

So, I keep getting these forwards, forwards about how Bush, Black People, Rich People, even Lesbians, are at fault for the devastation occurring after Hurricane Katrina. Well, I am just damn sick of it. Bush is an idiot, yes. He hired the head of the Arabian Horse Association to be in charge of National Safety, DUMB ASS, but whatever. Black people are the majority in New Orleans, it's true, that's why you see them everywhere on the news, sucks for them to not have any money. Rich people had enough money to get out, that's why they are gone. And lesbians, well, you just go ahead and ask Pat Robertson about that one. Even amidst the disfortune of people around the country, it does not make them responsible for the hurricane. Bush and Robertson are ignorant and that sucks, but they did not blow the winds and knock down all the houses. And the poor, black, rich and lesbian folks are unlucky enough to be a part of the countries out groups, but again, they did not get together and destroy half of the South. So what I am saying is, please stop sending me these damn e-mails. More importantly, stop listening to the damn news.

This is what I have learned through my experiences working with the Hurricane.

1. Catholic Charities in St. Louis doing a terrible job with the 200 evacuees because a fight broke out with two siblings who have been living in a room with 5 other people for 16 days. Please ignore the fact that we have found people's families who were missing, the fact that the whole group of men who are living there organize weekly car washes to raise money to give to catholic charities so that when more evacuees come in they have some money to give them as well (that's right, they don't keep any of the money), or how every single child in the group has gotten their physicals and started school here. (Thank you St. Louis Post Dispatch for the Expose)

2. That the most surprising thing about being in Jackson Mississippi was the 107 degree warehouse (cause who thought Mississippi would be hot in the summer time?) and not the amazing volunteers who showed up from California, Kansas City and St. Louis to help out on their own time and dime (thanks channel 5 for the misquote).

3. That the rich were not effected. I guess my aunt Missy, moving to Houston for two weeks, going back to re-erect her demolished house on September 11th and then being forcibly evacuated again doesn't count.

4. That the people stealing food and diapers and even beer, are terrible looters. Please, tell me, what would you do if you were living on the top of your house, surrounded by water/sewage/gas/trash/dead bodies/etc. I think I might take beer too, anything to make me feel a little bit better. Please, do not assume that if you see looters/gang members/criminals on the news it is the majority of people. Most people are just trying to be ok.

5. If I could remember one thing about this experience it is that people are in the middle of a catastrophe. Many people have felt their family members swept from their hands in the flood. One woman came home to her house to rebuild, went upstairs into her attic and found a family of five dead. Sure, people are freaked out, some are taking advantage of the situation, but most are only trying to survive, and find some joy out of nothing.

6. The volunteerism and donations are amazing. People have driven from all over to help out. We have donations from everywhere in the world, eg., we got canned horse meat from Italy and letters from little kids who were giving away their most precious possessions. Please, do not disrespect the people who have lost everything, including their lives, by believing the news.